Surely, in today’s digital age where there is an app for just about everything, Emotional Intelligence is not as important as it once was? In some businesses, there is very rarely a need to have face to face conversations and we are all far too busy for ‘chit chat’… right? Wrong.
Jenni Bowman, The Passionate PA for Bournemouth and Christchurch, works with a selection of inspirational leaders who believe Emotional Intelligence in the workplace is more important now than it’s ever been. In this article, Jenni looks at what Emotional Intelligenceis and why do we need it, how can we improve it and how nurturing your ownEmotional Intelligencecanhelp you become a more successful, respected and trusted person to work with.
Emotional Intelligence is divided into five separate attributes:
Self-awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including your strengths, your weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivations and emotions. Self-awareness allows you to understand other people, how they perceive you, your attitude and your responses to them in the moment.
Self-regulation is the ability to act in your long-term best interest, consistent with your deepest values. Emotionally, self-regulation is the ability to calm yourself down when you’re upset and cheer yourself up when you’re down.
Motivation includes our personal drive to improve and achieve, commitment to our goals, initiative, or readiness to act on opportunities, and optimism and resilience.
Empathy is the ability to feel what the other person is feeling. It is to experience their emotions. It is the ability to put yourself in the other person’s shoes in a big and meaningful way.
Social Skills are considered the final piece of the Emotional Intelligence jigsaw. The ability to take all of the above and use this to influence how you act and how others respond. Communication, change management, leadership and conflict resolution.
As a Passionate PA, Jenni offers executive freelance personal assistant services to entrepreneurs and ambitious business leaders. She says; “as a Passionate PA, I get to see into my clients’ worlds. Everything from their business management to their leadership style; their greatest hopes and biggest fears too. I’ve noticed that Emotional Intelligence is something that sets my clients apart from the average business person and so I’m taking the opportunity to share how my clients develop this important skill.”
Improving Your Emotional Intelligence
1. Use the pause button. Do you ever read an email from a client/team member/employee and then sit and bash out a response with smoke coming out of your ears and off your keyboard? It’s time to stop. Sure, draft it, it will make you feel better, but then keep it in draft and go back to it. Leave it a couple of hours, re-read it and the likelihood is you will re-phrase that email. Think about your end goal and try hard to understand the context of how the sender came to create such an email.
2. Ask others to help you reflect. Ask trusted colleagues or mentors how they would react in a certain situation. Gather that information like a market researcher, with no emotion or bias. Use that catalogue of reactions to help you decipher how you would like to be treated and try and adopt that the next time you are in a tricky situation.
3. When criticised, try not to take offence. Tough one, right? However, self-reflection and really thinking about a criticism directed at you really does help you to grow. Maybe they have a point, even if poorly delivered? Remember, criticism is also feedback, and if used correctly, it really is an opportunity to improve your Emotional Intelligenceand develop as a leader.
4. Talk about how you feel. Here at The Passionate PA, we are great at expressing our emotions because it helps others understand and trust us. Don’t suppress yours, even though you are a business leader! Most people will have true respect for someone who can be honest about their thoughts and feelings, and explain how they have arisen. It really does help to garner lasting connections and meaningful working relationships. Your team will trust you more if they see you dealing with vulnerability.
5. Look after your physical health in order to fully develop your emotional health. Getting enough sleep, eating well, drinking water and doing some exercise sounds like such basic advice. You hear it from your GP and it’s all over social media. However, basic self-care will really help you to function at your best both emotionally and physically. If you are feeling great then you are far more likely to react positively to situations than you would if you were tired, hungry, dehydrated and in poor health. Self-care is vital to be an effective leader.
In summary, most effective leaders are on a journey to a higher Emotional Intelligence. It’s a constant learning curve. The Carnegie Institute of Technology carried out research that showed that 85% of our financial success was due to skills in ‘human engineering’, personality and the ability to communicate, negotiate and lead. They found that only 15% was due to technical ability. In other words, people skills or skills highly related to emotional intelligence were crucial.
To find out more about how The Passionate PA could help you and your business please call 03 3000 20 200.